At work I’ve witnessed several moments where people “lost it,” this week. I don’t know what it was about this week that did it, but it was from all the different corners of my work life. Seriously. I’ve appropriated my supervisor’s analogy that we’re all in a sandbox, and no one is behaving nicely. Pails are being tossed about and shovels used to hit each other.

I was running through entries on my blog and I had one post right before I started at my current digs. I was apprehensive and unsure whether I made the right choice. There are several snags, you see, such as whether you will like the work culture, coworkers, etc… Then there are other sacrifices you make, such as, changing health insurances, downgrading insurances, or maybe even a pay cut. Stuff like that make the process really nerve wracking and you’re most of the time unable to see whether your leap of faith will work out.

This is all to say that things have gotten much rockier at my previous job and I feel relieved to not be there anymore. I’ve been meeting with old coworkers for the past couple of weeks and I’ve been getting a lot of the dirt. They tell me that I’m lucky to have gotten out when I did, which was a combination of luck, timing, and connections. Either way, this is a rare thing, where in hindsight you are proven right and glad that you made the choice you did.

So what if I pay more now for my dentist (that brought out that bling-ed piece of tooth). I made the wrong choice there in opting in for a DMO plan, rather than a PPO that they accept (although since they used to accept the DMO, they are still listed on the DMO website – what the hell is up with that?). Clearly, wrong choice, but I had no way of knowing either way. (Also when I had to make my choice my dentist’s office was closed)

You know choices…

So here’s another one to think about. I am content enough right now with my current job. It challenges me sometimes, but I am confident that I can do whatever they ask me. My skill set is sort of perfect for this job… in that the only anxiety comes from finishing multiple things in a timely manner and not that I can’t do something. Sure I want to be paid more, appreciated by upper management more and all that… stuff normal people want… So here’s the thing. My field right now has an influx of openings. I get calls from head hunters ALL THE TIME. Like, at least 1-3 a week, either by phone or email. I got someone actually calling my work phone the other day and that sort of creeped me out.

So my instincts tell me that I should contact them just to see what they have and to keep my people skills sharp. I always encourage friends that are looking for jobs to apply for everything and talk to everyone. You want choices. You should have the choice to turn them down. It’s hard for me to keep to this adage, you know? Even if I am not looking for another job, if they come looking for me, I should always keep my options open. I should, right?

I had a dentist’s appointment on Monday morning. I figured that if I went early, that there would be less of a wait. I had to reschedule this appointment (since my crown wasn’t ready) and I was anxious to just get it done. I kind of dislike to take time off work for these “personal errands.” I would much rather spend a lazy day home on my day off. Either way, I was ready to get in there and out in minimal time.

The whole visit was a waste, because as soon as I sat in the chair, they opened up the package and took out my crown… And folks, it was gold. GOLD. Shiny. Very shiny and gold. Seriously? And the doctor was speechless, but the nurse had the gall to ask me, “This isn’t what you wanted, right? Well, do you like it? Do you want this in your mouth?” And really, it’s a molar, but it is my front molar that is quite visible. I want a shiny smile, but not by those standards. I might have done it if I had matching grills or if I was going to go meet Flavor Flav. I mean, c’mon!

So, they had me get out of the dentist’s chair and ushered me into accounting to wrap up my billing / insurance, and booked me for another day. Again. Monday morning… 2 weeks from that date. So I can take another morning off of work. I rolled in and I think my story made up for a lot, but it still didn’t make up for the fact that I wasted my morning. It was lost between a bad commute to the dentist’s office, getting my crown NOT put in, and then going back downtown into work. Uhg.

These past two weeks at work have been hectic. For one thing, two of the properties I work with within my organization is back into the swing of things and on sale. On the other hand, for these past two weeks, whatever can go wrong in a day… has. Things in my world, for the most part was quiet, but the pending issues that were piling up for the other properties were falling on my lap. It’s all in a day’s work, but one after another it was a comedy of errors. Last week, it bothered me. This week, I just laughed.

For example, the Content Management Application that we use in our department (that we had developed for our company) loaded new improvements, but with it, a lot of little bugs. Our poor project manager spent most of the week taking my department (and other department’s) shit about what didn’t work. (Of course, we knew it wasn’t his fault, but he took the issues quite seriously… and was definitely glad for Friday when it came around.) This on top of the normal office oddities and stupid shit that happens, was fun fun fun.

On the other hand, another coworker and I conspired to try to come up with a Tumblr blog, “Shit my coworker says,” or “#$%! HEADSMACK!” Except after a while it might be clear where and who I work for.

With last minute requests and stuff that gets forgotten, I always feel like I am the harbinger of bad news. Why is that? Of course I have my slip ups, too… which just eat into the time I don’t have. People are lucky that I felt too crappy to really take advantage of my full lunch hour… or felt too drained to really even go out in the rain to find food. (seamlessweb, anyone?)

It’s just one of those weeks. And the rain was miserable, but it worked well as a backdrop to this crushing week… and actually kind of helped me weed out stupid things I might do during the week, like get my nails done, or try to go out at night, or just have a good time. Whatevs.

I was sitting in Bryant Park the other day. It was a nice day and originally I wanted to lay across the lawn. Unfortunately, the lawn was closed and I sat in close proximity to a couple that started chanting. They kept repeating this over and over and then concluded with a cuddle. The guy was clearly leading the show and the woman going alone with it… prompting high-fives and “YAYs!” while throwing their hands up after every chant.

What was the chant? It went like this, “USA! USA! If you don’t like us, GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY. GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY. We’ll kick your ass! We’ll kick your ass! YAY!” over and over again.

The interesting thing is that these two weren’t Caucasian. They looked Asian, Mexican, and Hispanic. Also, at first you thought they were friends just hanging out, but later on, they started to cuddle. These were two crazy freakin’ people who were into each other. That kind of warmed my heart. These people were crazy in a way that the other didn’t mind.

I told Ryan, later when he joined me, “I want to go talk to these people or start the chant with them. What do you think they will do?” He replied, “Uh… maybe kick your assk?” The thing is the sentiment in the chant is not particularly anti-immigrant or anything. They just kept saying, “IF YOU DON’T LIKE US, GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY!” Like dude, maybe I am Asian and I don’t seem American, but maybe I still dig your country? Let’s be friends! Ok, so they did scare and disturb me, but you know, fascinated me at the same time. It’s all kind of romantic.

The other day, I visited the Allison and Parris showroom and met with the production staff and showroom manager. The dresses were lovely and they encouraged me to try things on, but I felt a little too insecure. You know?

I was there with someone who was launching their fashion company and was looking for a dress to wear at their charity/launch party, which will utlimately get auctioned off.

The dresses were all very very lovely, especially the rooster feather dress featured here. However, in the end we settled on a tutu skirt worn pre-production that was cute, flouncy, and showed off my companions legs. I feel like their dresses are actually made for women to wear. They shape you, they have cute details, and they are crafted really well…

Originally I got to know her through a good friend who works with her. My good friend is planning a large reunion and ultimately looked at spaces with her for both of their respective events. That was a headache. I was automatically volunteered into something like that. In a similar vein, I was roped into helping this non-profit ensemble with their lead generation and funding. I have to see if I can grab some swag at work to auction off.

I have to say that off the bat these responsibilities don’t really appeal to me. Some people like planning parties, events, etc… I am not really one of them. I like coming to the party and drinking, you know? I really don’t know how I got myself into this.

However if any of them require me to try things on and model pretty dresses at events. It’s daunting, but I’ll do it. Twist my arm now… :P

So, where I work, Christmas comes early… like now. Things are all a flutter for Christmas festivities and although I don’t deal with it, my coworkers do. They left me a little something on my desk! You can imagine the headaches here.

Timelines are a little screwed up here, which might be why I keep forgetting what day it is. And last month, I completely forgot about my father’s birthday. (Don’t worry I’m not hurting anyone’s feelings who is living… except maybe my mother) It’s not a big deal, but personally that’s disturbing, although I would guess… normal. I mean, I would almost forget my birthday and keep forgetting to do anything for it. Whatevs.

Universal holidays are a little easy, because I can just jump on a bandwagon. And despite not doing anything special, I still want to do something special and love Christmas. Couple of years ago, I was invited for a Hanukkah dinner, and I got up on that bandwagon too. It’s multicultural up in here. Myself, I don’t know what it is, but for birthdays and all… I feel like I’m imposing my plans. Either way, on the date of my birthday I’ve been invited to a goodbye party. Hah. That same friend and I were talking last year about having a barbeque up on the roof and needing a reason to celebrate… oh wait, my birthday. I guess good bye party is as good a reason as any. (She’s going to Japan for like half a year or something)

In other news, April is winding down and the warmer weather is getting a little more frequent, and light is creeping all the way up until 7:30pm. Also, I finished my taxes a few days in advance, all in an annoying Sunday, you want to read all about it. In other news, I am beginning to think that diet coke is an acceptable way of ingesting your caffeine. If you know me, you will know how weird that is.

I’m averaging at one entry per month. I thought I should shake things up with a second entry.

Currently, I’ve run out of things to read. The last thing I enjoyed was Jay Rubin’s Haruki Murakami and the Music of Words. I thought I would dislike it, because I’m generally not very interested in other people’s readings of my favorite fiction authors. However, I enjoyed Jay Rubin’s book, because it was more than his interpretations. It had a lot of biographical data about Murakami that really enriched my ideas of his works.

Before that, I finished the Deptford Trilogies by Davies and Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein, both works of which I absolutely LOVED, and Miranda July’s Nobody Belongs Here More Than You, which I thought was indulgent, and at times, interesting, drivel. Eh. I was curious about and picked up Eat Pray Love and consequently kind of regretted it. However, it might be morbid curiosity that keeps me going back for more.

Otherwise, I’ve been eating great and watching tons of Law and Order: SVU. Law and Order, it’s my new thing. I don’t know why I am all of a sudden so fascinated by it. At the end of the day, it’s what I want to watch; experiencing this morbid schaudenfraude.

I HATE that during the week, I get home, cook or buy dinner, and then watch 2-3 episodes of instant watch netflix and go to bed. However, I’ve had lovely weekends of lazy mornings cooking hash, eating on my roof top in the sun, and drinking lots of bubbly drinks. I guess it works out. I’ve become one of those drones that go on automatic pilot during the week to try to bask in the weekend…

I’ve been going to the gym twice to three times a week. That’s it. I’ve been slowing things down and enjoying the sun. I’ve been really enjoying walking around again. I finally bought some bras for the first time in 2 years. Did you need to know that? No, but it’s just such weird and awful knowledge that lets you in on how much I’ve let go of certain things…

Life life life…

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