I was going to complain about how I’m not good at updating this blog again. Instead, I am going to talk about blogs through the years…

I’ve had this blog FOREVER. I think I started blogging around 1997-1998. Those archives are still somewhere on the net, if my ex, whose servers I used, still has it up and running. (Consequently my site shared space with their porn archives. Just saying.) I’ve had couple of domains and finally settled here at winglike right around 2001… if I’m not mistaken.

This is just to say, I’ve seen the culture develop and morph. I’ve followed some people like Dooce, since before her marriage or two kids. I actually think other than Dooce, there is no one else that I’ve followed for this long that has continued to blog, which is sad. And recently, I’ve been lamenting that I don’t have any real interesting personal blogs to follow. Zannah over at found and vox machina, who is mostly MIA, might be the only other person. Sure, there are technical blogs, advise blogs, fashion blogs, etc… The closest is my friend Lohr, who I have been following for years. Even my close friends who used to have Livejournals have stopped updating.

One of the more interesting parts of blog culture was the whole E/N scenes that popped up in the late 90s. One point, I used to be hooked on cam culture. That might not sound like much, but it was voyeurism before reality TV took off. There were the pretty girls hamming it up for the cameras and then there were the weird nerd people posting odd shit on their webcams. I had a webcam and can you guess which one I fell into? Unfortunately a lot of them went underground or came full out of the PG closet. (Remember Nay? Apparently she went full on adult site and now retired with a child.) E/N sites (Entertainment? Everything/Nothing sites? Who knows what it stands for now.) were the shit and I used to read Webgossip by Webpig religiously. Now, I don’t think there is anything quite like that anymore.

What I really want is some juicy linear story telling and living vicariously. I used to follow this law secretary who worked in Paris, who wrote beautifully and lived an exciting life. I’ve met her once in person, too and corresponded with her. However, she eventually stopped writing after she applied, got in, and graduated from Harvard law school and went into a full time job. It’s to be expected.

It’s funny, Lohr writes about the same thing, where he refers to these journals as “lost voices.” And that is exactly what they are. I think I am just not immersed in the right blog or blogroll, but it looks like there is nothing out there.

I think this is also partly why I don’t write. I understand the need to close up shop and move on. Perhaps the time for personal blogs have come and gone. I feel like the blogs that get traffic now are “self-help” or “hot-to” blogs that focus narrowly to one topic. (It’s good to know what you’re getting, I guess.) Oftentimes I thought about closing up the archives and moving to a different name incognito. However, there’s just something sad about that. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that without inspiration and other people writing, I’ve lost perspective on how and what to write about.

I liked to follow people and hear about their lives… in hopes that I might feel inspired to do something new. I felt inspired to read a new book they raved about or go on vacation to a new and exciting destination. It’s a window to someone’s life and I guess that laid the foundation for my reality TV addiction. You know? I just want to read something funny and refreshing.

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