I was going through some random text files in my documents folder when I came across this. I realize now that during the month of April, May, and June, I was being over extended, worked, and feeling unappreciated. It just wasn’t good in multiple fronts. The old job, of course. However, other responsibilities piled duties I didn’t even sign up for on my shoulders. And then even worse, hounded me daily for duties that were arbitrarily assigned to me on a daily basis by RANDOM people that would email me and get my information from said organization, because certain people (and not the man who heads the organization, but those that wrote for him) expected and felt entitled to my time. That was utter fucking bull shit.

I think at the time I introduced couple of people to the organization. One person got a great opportunity out of it. Another was offered a chance to publish some writings. And I was just feeling very bitter.

what I am good for
I am sick of how everyone seems to be benefiting from the relationship I have with a non-profit organization. While I toil away at the more tedious tasks, everyone I introduce is benefiting in some way or form.

Truth is, I have never been able to ask for what I want. I’ve never been able to declare it. When others easily walk in and announce that they are the next big thing. That frustrates me. The thing is, they very well might be. I might be, if I would give myself the benefit of the doubt.

I have long since stopped writing fiction and poetry. The only writing I seem to do these days is cultural reports and Anais Nin type diatribes. Really, I can’t imagine that is all that fun for everyone involved.

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