So… I am wearing flannel and fat with shabu shabu.

Some thoughts on “The Hills.”

I don’t watch this show, usually. However, I find myself watching MTV’s trainwreck show about privileged Laguna Beach daughters.

I was talking to my friend that works at MTV/Viacom, who once suggested I try to get a job as a v/blogger. The only show I watch that is remotely blogged about is L Word, which is entering its final season.

So, it’s funny that I am watching this now and blogging about it.

I was watching the part where Ms. Port interviews at Diane von Furstenberg… and I CANNOT believe her response.

Ms. Boyle: I saw your resume, but tell me in your own words what you have been doing.
Ms. Port: I helped the designers, you know? Casting… and basically everything.
Ms. Boyle: Why do you want to work at Diane von Furstenberg?
Ms. Port: Well, if I am going to work in fashion, I should do it whole heartedly. And I think it would be awesome.

Other than the wild-eyed innocence this conveys… that their trying to sell, how does an answer like that land you one of the most coveted jobs in the fashion industry? What the hell is that about? “But Umi, this is make believe.” How do they suspend belief in this case, though? Are the people watching this all 14 years old still? (In which case, why are they watching such garbage. And this is coming from someone who believes there is some redeeming narrative factor in soap operas.)

If I was a 18-22 year old watching this, I would be pulling my hair in frustration due to the job market, and I would hopefully get disgusted at this reality they are trying to sell us.

I can tell you how my own recent job interview went. I was contacted by their HR firm, and then I was contacted by the database marketer I am currently working closely with. I had a phone interview with her and another member in Chicago. Then after a week, I visited the NY office and met with the database marketer, the CPA, and then the VP of Marketing, and then finally I got through to the CEO. Throughout the process each person gave me an interpretation of the job and asked for the narrative of my own career history. Just “awesome,” would not have sufficed. Why was I fit for the job? What can I bring to the table? How does my experience correspond? These are common questions. I know supporters will come to defend this by saying, “they didn’t show the whole interview, very possibly.” True, but I find it a little sick that didn’t.

The whole thing doesn’t even make good TV. It’s something out of a bad movie… Even “Ugly Betty” gets it right. It’s natural for people to buy that effort pays off. In Ms. Port’s case, she gets the job not because of competence, but because she wished hard enough and MTV execs saw an opportunity to extend the brand. Now they are rolling with the innocent LA girl (how does that work?) in the big bad city with no one to trust. (literally the commercials for it say, “I’m alone here. I leave everything I care about behind to chase my dream. Who can I trust?” A little dramatic, eh? The answer is obvious, MTV!)

Maybe I am just bitter from the recent job search?

So… my conclusion from watching the Hills is:

  • Am I crazy that I think Heidi is the one of the most stupid but most endearing character? Getting manipulated into marrying her boyfriend was the most creepiest thing ever.
  • What is this whole Spencer thing? If I was Heidi’s parents, I would get mad at MTV for getting my daughter involved in such a creepy man.
  • Audrina’s vapidness is kinda creepy
  • All LC does is cry. I think she is the protagonist in this show, because she can call the tearworks at will. She is relatively likable, not too stupid, and a little boring. The perfect vessel to be the eyes of the viewer. You know, the same deal with how Carrie Bradshaw is the character with the least “character.” And Ms. Port is equally boring…

At least I could semi-follow this, jumping into it from the middle. I think i read too much Perez Hilton.

So, in the same spirit as dumb bitches, Mary Kate Olsen rejoices in light of the recession, because of sales. Why doesn’t Olsen twins bail the auto industry out?

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