Category Archives: Life

I’m averaging at one entry per month. I thought I should shake things up with a second entry.

Currently, I’ve run out of things to read. The last thing I enjoyed was Jay Rubin’s Haruki Murakami and the Music of Words. I thought I would dislike it, because I’m generally not very interested in other people’s readings of my favorite fiction authors. However, I enjoyed Jay Rubin’s book, because it was more than his interpretations. It had a lot of biographical data about Murakami that really enriched my ideas of his works.

Before that, I finished the Deptford Trilogies by Davies and Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein, both works of which I absolutely LOVED, and Miranda July’s Nobody Belongs Here More Than You, which I thought was indulgent, and at times, interesting, drivel. Eh. I was curious about and picked up Eat Pray Love and consequently kind of regretted it. However, it might be morbid curiosity that keeps me going back for more.

Otherwise, I’ve been eating great and watching tons of Law and Order: SVU. Law and Order, it’s my new thing. I don’t know why I am all of a sudden so fascinated by it. At the end of the day, it’s what I want to watch; experiencing this morbid schaudenfraude.

I HATE that during the week, I get home, cook or buy dinner, and then watch 2-3 episodes of instant watch netflix and go to bed. However, I’ve had lovely weekends of lazy mornings cooking hash, eating on my roof top in the sun, and drinking lots of bubbly drinks. I guess it works out. I’ve become one of those drones that go on automatic pilot during the week to try to bask in the weekend…

I’ve been going to the gym twice to three times a week. That’s it. I’ve been slowing things down and enjoying the sun. I’ve been really enjoying walking around again. I finally bought some bras for the first time in 2 years. Did you need to know that? No, but it’s just such weird and awful knowledge that lets you in on how much I’ve let go of certain things…

Life life life…

Time is a funny thing. Once your work life becomes repetitive and busy, it’s easy to just let the autopilot drive you through month to month. I will admit, I’ve been doing that as of late… if that makes sense. I find it easy to just close my eyes and wait for the next month, which in retrospect, might not be the best way to spend your time. Am I going to wake up and find that I’m 40 with no recollection of the past 10 or so years?

In terms of my job, I’ve moved on to a new company, which is always frightening, exciting, and sad. I think it was just a mood I was in, but I really missed my old coworkers for the first part of the week. I still do, but I really need to get over that.

The first few weeks are really just the worst. You don’t remember anyone’s names, you feel awkward, and you feel mostly restricted to your desk. It’s hard, you know? Coming from a place where I had a lot of free reign and lots of fun coworkers to goof around with, it’s been a little lonely. Still, the past week has been pretty busy. Not that things didn’t get busy at my last gig, but as of late, there has been a lot of down time. And jumping into the fray at the busiest time of year is … awkward.

A question I’ve asked myself for the past month was … “when do you know when enough is enough?” And my current answer is that you don’t, but you need to weigh it out with other circumstances and opportunities. You might not be at the end of your rope, yet, but you can’t let another opportunity pass you by.

I left my job without really saying a proper goodbye to everyone, since the last 2 days were effected by the snowpacolypse. I didn’t go in Thursday and Friday, no one was in. It was in a way… easier that way. No awkward goodbyes, because I was dreading that. I would have liked to get drinks with couple of people, though, but that might happen this week. When I came to my last job, couple of people were leaving and there was a great to do about them. Now, it’s changed, which is a shame. (Not that I really wanted anything for myself. There were others leaving before I left, and there was nothing really planned for them.)

Work culture fascinates me. In the last 10 years, I’ve seen a number of environments and I have to say, the most dysfunctional places forges the strongest bonds.

I developed an annoying cough the weekend before I started my new job. REALLY ANNOYING. I managed this WHOLE time to avoid getting sick. And now… to add to the annoyances of being in an unfamiliar place, everyone probably thinks I am carrying the plague, too.

My mood has been easy to foul… lately.

In other news, two of my coworkers have fashion blogs, or something. One of them asked me and the other ladies in my room to post for a Korean fashion blog. Apparently my coworker and I both raised our brows and said… “For what? To show what NOT to wear?” I think I was wearing a thick, semi sparkly gray turtle neck from express and thick gray slacks from Banana Republic. He told me to wear my purple scarf, cause “It looks cool,” he says. That an my blue patent pumps… OMG. I just checked the site and there I am buried among other photos of random New Yorkers. I won’t link there, because it’s quite unflattering.

Overall I really like the people I work with. The people training me are very thorough and very supportive. I feel lucky. Overall I have never been in a circumstance where my direct supervisor sucked. If there was any discontent, it was usually at a higher level…

I’m waiting for spring.

So, I struggled whether to post this, but it isn’t everyday that I have a blog rant/inspiration. To the men in the audience, this is probably something you don’t want to hear about. To those courageous men, it might fascinate you.

I just got back from from an annual gynecological exam. You know, routine. First of all, my copay just went up, apparently. Second of all, my office just hired a nurse practitioner around a year ago. My first visit in this office was with the doctor. Then, I got gardisil shots (which is another entry all together) with this nurse practitioner, which is fine, but she was also doubling as a birthcontrol consultant and in beginning she made me feel a little uncomfortable. For example, she touted using condoms, which is good… but she talked about them with me in a bit of … let’s say condescending manner. I like her, but I wasn’t  quite sure of that yet then. I will also say, I picked this office due to it’s facilities (it just moved right next to my office), doctor recommendations, and because he was a male doctor. Seriously. So, it caught me off guard when the nurse practioner was the one giving me my annual, today. My reasoning is this: I’m used to men being down there. Women, I am not.

On a separate note, if you’re a nurse practioner, shouldn’t you be better at drawing blood? I once had a terrible experience with another doctor drawing blood. However, for the past 2-3 years, I’ve had positive painless experiences. I guess I let my guard down. She pricked me on the right hand, and could draw nothing. It bled out, it still hurts. She found a vein, finally, on my left arm, and it was more than uncomfortable. Uhg.

She was quite nice, though, and very polite. She is very sweet and tried her best, I know.

Fail on my part: I kind of scheduled this appointment a little too close to my period. Since you can’t schedule the appointment even a day before your last appointment, I scheduled it today. (Last year, my appt was Jan 29.) I didn’t think about anything else. Woops.

Rant: Why do doctors only give Birth Control prescriptions out in 12 month increments? Other than Deprovera/Seasonale, meant to skip periods, all other birth control is given in 28 day increments. That is considered a month. Now, what about those last 2-3 days at the end of our calendar month? That, my dear, causes most women to run out before their next annual. Case in point, 28 x 12 != 365. In fact, 28×12=336, and 365-336=29… a whole extra cycle + 1day. I expect doctors to know that women have 13 cycles a year, if regulated by birthcontrol. Just sayin’.

How is it all ready almost February? Of course, I saw all those hearts and chocolates covered in red tutus everywhere, but didn’t we just celebrate Christmas and New Years? I’m looking forward to Valentine’s day week, not because it’s Valentine’s day, but because the Monday following is PRESIDENT’S DAY! That means it’s a long weekend for me, bitchez!

But seriously, I find that I want the days to go by faster, because everyday seems more tedious than the one before. Is that depression? And then I realize I lost a whole month, and I kind of want the months to pass by too, because I should be out of this funk when I get more sun, and when more paycheck days go by. Haha. That’s sad, though, because I don’t have too much youth left, imagine if I spend most of the rest of my 20s that way. What a waste! I should be delighting in the days that go by… and the only analogy I can come up with is savoring every bite of my thai curry noodle soup today. Figures. Each day grows dinner once lunch time is over. :P Then I look forward to dinner. Then… sleep.

I’m finding it hard to keep my up my discipline, about work, being frugal, about eating right, and going to the gym. I feel like each day crawls by, but all of a sudden, I’m still caught by surprise. That’s not a way to live. More and more, I am convinced by that.

I feel like perhaps I need a resolution. Not a New Year’s one, but goals for this month. This month’s goals were to go to the gym for at least an hour 4 times a week and keep the apartment clean. I had an easier time doing the former than latter. Still, I should clean the apartment today, so I can say I did it. I need fun projects, though, like reading a book a week for 56 weeks? I should be able to read that much, right? I used to read 200+pages a day for Grad school… freakin’ german Philosophers, for godsakes.

First and second week of January, other than my fashion magazines, I’ve been reading Malcom Gladwell’s “What the Dog Saw.” Ryan got Nocturnes by Ishiguro for Christmas, and I loved his “Remains of the Day,” so I read that. The story, unfortunately, was a bit sterile, especially compared to “Remains…” I started Davies’ “Fifth Business,” but I let Ryan read it first. I took his finished, “Tokyo Vice” by Adelstein, which I am pouring through. Now I am seeing Yakuza’s in every elvis haired older Japanese male.

Of course I can challenge myself to find new work projects, some freelance projects, etc… but that won’t be very enjoyable… and then my procrastination comes out. It’s an uphill battle.

Maybe my resolution should be 3 posts a week? HAHA, start with 1 post a week?

I’ve never spent too much time in Williamsburg in the snow. I have to say that it gives the whole neighborhood a charming feel. Snow always messes with the senses, I think. Everything seems quieter, or at least muffled. There’s a sound to snow, like a silent static that other sounds need to get through. It’s also just dark so early. I don’t feel warm and fuzzy about this neighborhood during the winter, but the snow made everything look enchanting.

There was a weird unmarked dark bus parked on Bedford, which offered pictures with Santa and some drinks inside. That was a little creepy. I’m not in the habit of getting into weird buses to drink wine and sit on a strange man’s lap.


I went Christmas shopping with Ryan and his sister, however, I ended up getting things for myself. Tracy and I both saw respective ear warmers/mufflers that we liked, so we bought each other one and switched. Something like that. I bought these Pantone colored mugs with the color label on the bottom. I’m really taken with them. I love the concept and I want to collect more colors. For now, we just picked up the primary colors of red 186 C and royal blue 286 C.

I love the concept and I love how easily they integrate with our other things. I am even tempted to get a mug for myself to use at work. I am that tickled by this idea. It would be awesome if I could get a custom mug with the specific Pantone color of our logo, that would be awesome. D at live events would laugh, as half the time we’re trying to track down particular shades for banners and other materials.

golden half

Otherwise, I’ve been playing with a lomo-esque camera that Ryan got me this year, for Christmas or an anniversary present, or something. Who knows?! He found it at Paul Smith and it’s rubber/plastic exterior is really pretty. It splits the frame of the picture in half, so that instead of 36, you can shoot 72 photos, where two frames taken in conjunction share a shot. I look forward to see how my play shots come out.

But the snow, people are calling it Snowpocalypse, why? I mean, we get bad snow. I don’t know why Delta and Jetblue refused to fly. I guess we aren’t used to getting snow so early in the year. I remember last year we barely got a white Christmas. Usually it snows during January or early February. Either way, this unexpected snow fall in the east coast caused Jetblue to cancel all flights out on the 20th from the Boston and NY area, offering no other contingency plan other than a free booking on Christmas day. It was ridiculous. The customer service representation that we spoke to originally was even smug about it all. Finally in the middle of the day after being on hold for well over 5-10 minutes, there was a voicemail that asked us to call them back at a later date due to the high call volume. I know I will be very reluctant to fly Jetblue in the future, since if something goes wrong, they will be less than accomodating. Other Airlines have packages and contingency plans with other airlines and WILL book a flight for you on another carrier. Jetblue will not.

flock installationflock

In other news, the other week we finally put up some art that we bought. I bought some sculptures before Thanksgiving by artist, Darla Jackson. Her What are you afraid of? piece caught my attention. She juxtaposes animals in very human poses and emotions that I completely dig. Her other works that I like include the Birthday Party series. I couldn’t quite afford the bigger works and the one that I love best (unfortunately with my Cambodia trip in the horizon, I couldn’t even afford it in installations), but I really liked the flock installtions she did, and I bought some plaster birds from her. She was sweet and packaged them lovingly and securely, and mailed them to me minding some high maintenance requests. She also apparently had a baby recently and had to take time away from that bliss to mail these out to me, so thank you! We love them.

I was SO afraid of taking them out of their packaging! I didn’t realize that the birds were so fragile… that plaster was so fragile. In the end, Kevin Curran from Laundromat Gallery installed them and the below art we bought from him, when he came over.

Liz's DrawingLiz's Drawing

Months ago, we attended a Laundromat Gallery opening for Liz Atzberger, and Ryan fell in love with one of her works. Apparently it was priced accordingly so that no one would buy it, but that plan was obviously a “fail.” In return, Kevin offered to come over and install it and other works he needed hanging, like a commissioned poster of one of Ryan’s big works for Celebrate Brooklyn and NPR, for some beer. He was also nice enough to lend his services and expertise in hanging my bird sculptures I bought.

Ryan’s been involved in an ensemble called Blindear. They have been having concerts at the Gershwin Hotel on 27th and 5th avenue. The idea behind this ensemble seemed to be to give composers a new avenue to explore New Music, especially with electronics and live performance. Their first performance covered live instruments, electronics, interesting items, such as the theremin, and drum beats from Brazil.

This being said, after the first concert, they have been fixated on this idea of loops. The co-founder, Jacub Ciupinski, created a program that feeds the player bars of music via computer. The idea being that the composer can feed the players music in real time, thus composing on the fly in real time. The composers are asked to create bars of music that the composer will construct together at the concert.

They are still ironing out the details, but this last concert had a really warm reception. I’m impressed and glad to find that it wasn’t a one shot wonder. They played one performance with 2 flutes and 3 string players and did another one with just 8 string players. As I understand it, the composers are constantly making new “loops” to try out. It’s interesting to see an ensemble like this grow… sort of organically, through concept, into sound and diversity of repertoire.

It’s interesting, because, so many things can go wrong with a wireless network. Interference, network droppage, ip problems… I mean I encountered so many of them on a daily basis while working for the Dept. of Ed. It’s a monster of a project…

It’s a fun gig and I wonder how things will spin out from here. If you’re in the area, you should definitely check it out!

The other day Lige was in town to start her MBA program in Philly. It was her birthday and I knitted her a little iphone condom. She just got one and she was excited. I knitted this in round quite easily.

While she was here, all sorts of high school people came out of the woodwork. I realized that high school was so far away that I’ve forgotten and lost the idea of what distinguished most people back then. I was told, “you haven’t changed at all…” It was in passing and I wondered whether that was a good or bad thing. I can only really think of one person who has changed quite drastically. Plastic surgery and everything. No comment.

I did notice, though, that on her birthday we were SO loud. It was a bit jarring and surprising. I had a revelation that I think I used to be much louder and, at times, obnoxious. I think, if anything, I’ve mellowed out quite a bit… More importantly, I’ve lost that ability to be unabashedly loud.

I also think that until a few years ago, I used to have a chip on my shoulder about high school. I was a bit bitter. I would be careful of who to see. It wasn’t for any particular reason. I think it was some twisted way to move on. I think after college, moving out, and paying your own way, those things fall by the side. For the first time I realize I don’t care and it was nice.

No one went to our five year high school reunion, really. I don’t think those are very interesting. However, now, being 10 years away from all that, I’m interested. I like meeting these people again. So, I might just consider going this time around…

We went apartment hunting to no avail. In the end, the apartments in Harlem and Washington Heights were not any larger than where we are now. Also, we successfully talked our landlord into lowering our current rent. In the end, given the additional costs of moving, I am relieved.

Our apartment, though, could use some work. At the moment, we’re fighting the fruit flies. I let some bananas go bad while we were at Boston. Then they stayed for some empty wine bottles we left out. During the weekend, we purged and cleaned the kitchen. Then, we filled a small wine bottle with vinegar, soap, and some sweet smelling honey. Later, we got a giant thing of apple cider vinegar and waged a full out war. After leaving out four saucers of the stuff, the population has drastically gone down. Phew!

I also need the pilot lit on the oven. And our sink fixed. For two months, our sink has been leaking water. Then a month or so ago, the faucet handle broke. After forcibly twisting it to close, the whole faucet is seriously busted.


Cleaning dishes has been annoying, as well as, the whole thing is a big waste of water. The thing is, we called the landlord, and he was reasonable and nice. The super, though, is less than… Ridiculous. He was rude to the landlord, also, which makes me think that he is family or something.

It’s going to take some work to make this place “my space.” I need a dresser, bring more clothes over, and generally to mark my territory. I should scratch and slash the side of the couch or something.