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Honestly, I want someone to qualify this. How do they know these Penguins were gay? How would you definite it for animals? Taking part in homosexual behavior and refraining from heterosexual behavior?

Although there are accounts of homosexual behavior in animals, I doubt they were rigorous with the “labeling.” Not that I have a problem with gay animals, mind you. I just find this twist interesting. I think the headline could have easily been, “Penguins not interested in sexual behavior with females of the species still act paternally.”

(link)

Penguins caught stealing eggs from straight couples in an attempt to become fathers have been given their own to look after following protests.

Zoo keepers moved the male birds away from the rest of the penguins to avoid problems as hatching season approaches.

But angry visitors to Polar Land in China complained it was not fair for the males to stop becoming surrogate fathers.

Following the protests, zookeepers gave the pair two eggs laid by an inexperienced first-time mother.

“They’ve turned out to be the best parents in the whole zoo,” on zoo keeper said.

“We will try to arrange for them to become real parents themselves with artificial insemination.”

Despite being gay, it is understood the three-year-old male birds are still driven by an urge to be fathers.

So, going to work now… I realize that I need to slim down to fit back into my work pants. The last time I fit into them was when I squeezed myself into them during the Las Vegas Consumer Electronics Show.

It is becoming clearer that after January (after 2 paychecks), I need to find a downtown gym that is easily commutable from work and from the boyfriend’s apartment.

Today, we went to the bittersweets today to get a chain for the heart charm I have. The girl in the store measured and custom made me a chain in minutes while someone else listened to a scientology ad by Tom Cruisie (in an ironic matter) nearby. The people in the store were so sweet, that I definitely want to patron the place again.

Really, we had a great day wandering around Bedford Avenue. We went to Papa Lima‘s for lunch and had their cream cheese and cheddar cheese sandwich coupled with their 3 bean salad. DELICIOUS!

We went shopping at the Artist Flea Market in Williamsburg and went shoe shopping. Then we ventured into Manhattan to go to A.P.C. and uniqlo to look at various things on sale. <3

We topped off the evening with going to Fette Sau and Iona’s bar near Bedford and Grand.

Day 2 at work. I have much to report… and no where to put the information.

This photo shoot in French Vogue shows the same 20-something model depicting the decades 10 to 60.

It’s pretty amazing what you can do with expression and props.

I very much like the fact that they were able to depict older age without gratuitous wrinkles and only by wig, make up, lighting, and expression. I think it was done fantastically! I also think this is interesting, because I buy it. I would believe these pictures to be true, because celebrities are all so wrinkle free.

There is Iman, who is 53. Pretty fierce, eh?

It isn’t the crowsfeet that makes someone appear to be older. According to this photoshoot, it’s a cocked expression, confidence, and certain vogue look. We all have that to look forward to, don’t we?

Ok, maybe it’s stuff like this that is raising the bar REALLY F*CKING TOO HIGH for us normal folk. Hrm. Which do you think it is?

Sony is cutting 8,000 jobs. What is the deal with the “8.” I was spouting out numbers the other day with friends and noticed a trend.

Viacom cut 850 jobs recently…

I could have also sworn another place let go of 8,000 jobs two weeks ago.

Regardless, things are tough!I don’t think I need any more reminders of the recession. My falling stocks are evidence enough.

We basically undid any progress we made in the nineties.

Job losses in November were the steepest since December 1974, when 602,000 jobs were shed, and much worse than the consensus on Wall Street for a 340,000 reduction.

In addition, job losses in recent months turned out to be worse than previously reported. October’s loss was revised to 320,000, originally given as a 240,000 loss, while September’s drop was revised to 403,000 from 284,000.

That meant 199,000 more jobs were lost in September and October than initially thought and the total reduction in US nonfarm payrolls for the last three months was 1.256 million, with almost 2 million jobs shed in the year so far. (linke)

I don’t know why, but I am addicted to this type of news. It is almost like when there is a horrible accident and you can’t look away. And although I was not within those numbers, I was on the job search and felt the pressure.

Yahoo should have just sold to microsoft when they had the chance.

I still can’t look away from this type of news, though. Where are these people? flooding the markets? It is hard to imagine thousands of people, myself included, looking for jobs. Well… unless you are at the Radisson for another job fair and there is a 3 hour line outside twisting around the block. I am pretty sure they are all there.

I am going to break some more rules today and talk about the job search.

Everyone says that you should focus your search. You know, know what you want? Well, the thing with me is that what I wanted more than anything is to work at a job that I can feel good and confident about. I was looking for a company who’s mission plan was something I wanted to contribute to. This consisted or working in certain non-profit orgs, such as Teach for America and Planned Parenthood. It also included searches such as Rockstar Games (where they make Guitar Hero) or big publishing houses. Then, there were the jobs that I sent out to make it more of a numbers game. I applied to the Parks department or as a project manager at a brand.

Everyone had their input, but I did not want to work in IT or hardware again. I didn’t want to be the office tech bitch. I didn’t want to work for a incestual start up company, and my top number one priority was to work in an office where everyone was seemingly sane.

In the end it was a compromise and I was ok with it. It was something a little more creative and flexible. There are elements of project management and marketing. I am also the office HTML girl. I went to the office and met the team and executive officers, and I have to say that I am pleased. They seem VERY sane, supportive, and personable. I look forward to working there.

I am not JUST saying that.

Anyway, for those still on the look out, here is what I did to hold anxiety at bay.

  1. Bikram Yoga – That definitely took the kinks out and helped me feel productive. Of course it is EXPENSIVE as all hell. I took advantage of a kick ass introductory fee of $30 for 30 days. After that, i had to find something else…
  2. Free Gym Memberships – Hey, a girl has to do what she can to stay in shape. Gyms are absurdly expensive too. Although it is surprisingly cheaper than the $150+ monthly fees. And most often you can take Yoga in the Gyms.
  3. Knitting – Producing things really makes you feel like you are doing something. You are on one hand creating something artistic and on the other hand, you are improving upon a skill. They certainly do keep idle hands busy, despite all of the Grannie jokes I was the butt of.
  4. Cooking – I did a lot of baking and cooking. Not being employed helps you be creative in how you choose to splurge and save. Cooking something nice feels almost like pampering, but it won’t break your bank. AND you feel like you’re doing something for your friends that have lives and meaning outside of their little hut.
  5. Watch a lot of DVDs – Like you don’t do that…
  6. Freelance Web Work – Ok, so not everyone does web work. However, taking on freelance projects makes you feel great. I often fancy myself a writer, but let’s get real. I didn’t do much pretentious writing in Starbucks. However, I did do some graphic work, web development work, and flash work.
  7. Taking your mother out (or rather Having your relatives take YOU out) – This counts as bonding and FREE FOOD!
  8. Crying to your sympathetic girlfriends – It isn’t everyday you get a bitch-free card. You can whine a little and people understand. It isn’t polite conversation, but self depreciating talks about money… sometimes that’s what you need and people are sympathetic.
  9. Fable II / X Box 360 Games – Yeah… I think my first week of work will cause me to have Fable II withdrawal.

What kind of things helped you when anxiety threatens to explode out of your head like some fiery haired ATHENA?

I fell asleep next to the heater and I woke up bone dry, and here I am talking brittle lips and powdery throat. It was insane. I got a bottle of chilled water and it was SO cold. An hour and a half later and I am finally feeling somewhat hydrated after nursing a warm honey lemon water and the bottle back and forth. (and for those confused, of course I assure you that despite what you might have heard about me, I am not swigging a full bottle of sake. And unfortunately I am out of the bottle of Pepper Tabasco to fill my brittle soul…)

Anyway, I am up and out of that Thanksgiving coma. This year, unfortunately, I didn’t make any turkey for my lonesome and all the turkey I had was consumed within the week of Thanksgiving. Usually I have leftovers for weeks. WEEKS, people! I would have grown feathers and little wobbly doohicky out of my chin at this stage of the game.

Other than that, I’ve been mum because there is not much to say about the things I am allowed to write here. Recently I’ve taken steps to disassociate my name from the site. I realized that this would make the search for the perfect job of 2009 easier. I don’t want employers to read about what other places I have applied to or what I think of a particular potential brand. (Really, it shouldn’t surprise ANYONE that people will apply to multiple jobs. That is a smart thing to do.) I don’t put it past anyone to google people these days. The best of detectives can still sniff out this site from under all the rubble, but at least it is not the first thing that appears when you type in my first and last name. I don’t intend to completely, hide, though. No psudonyms, anymore. I don’t even know what I would call myself. “Girl Wonder of Turkey Consumption?”

I don’t do that hanging all my dirty laundry out to dry thing anymore. I used to do that mostly in High School, because it was High School. Then I did some daily school blogging in undergrad. I would write about papers I wrote and programs I am learning. Occasionally I would write about people. Now, I try to refrain from airing out all the laundry from work. If I do do it, it isn’t going to be here… where there is a history of me since the 90s. If I air out all the ridiculous stories I have accumulated, it is going to be at an ANONYMOUS site hosted somewhere else under a alias for sure. So, watch out for that “Girl Wonder of Turkey Consumption” site boys and girls. But really, not writing about work and not writing about the job search (I guess today is an exception) covers a lot of what I would like to write about.

I think I would die from embarrassment if I ever wrote more about stuff like:

You know… stuff I wrote in High School, maybe, about whether or not he might like you written poetically in the most angst humanly available? That gets tired. Although in writing it, you might feel like some tortured heroine in some racy chick lit. Or something. In reality it is far from that. You’re bordering on some sick online stalkerish secret signals / voyeuristic sending messages out in the void. You start EXPECTING Christian to f%cking call you back, because really, you deserve it. Then you start writing these letters… and sending him locks of your hair and some discarded feminine hygiene products… and and and… and it ends with you still worshipping a secret little shrine in the back of your bedroom where you sacrifice pictures from US Weekly of lesser beings to him and throw them into some shitty glade candle, where you cause a small fire… where you get blamed and condemned as some crazy glazed cinnamon scented pyromaniac! No one needs that to happen. Um… hypothetically speaking, of course.

I also can’t complain about the boyfriend here, really. I should respect another person’s privacy and that their issues are not for me to air. Although boyfriends should maybe humor their girlfriends and SHAVE bare for them. THE CHIN, people. Get your mind out of the gutter! I can only mock him here, which really gets old. I do enough of that in person.

For example, I really want to blog about the ridiculous questionairres some places have in addition to an application, online. Some of the quizes are very thoughtful, geared towards the particular role and determines whether you have the skill of analysis necessary to gather and read certain data. Some of it was even industry specific.

Then there was this 300 question quiz filled with some of the most mind-f#cking questions repeated and reiterated in many different ways. Clearly it was meant to see whether you are consistant, lying, and violent. And if anyone is sane enough, this questionairre will surely fix that problem and cause you to have a violent reaction. It might be smart to employ the same questionaire found on a DATING site (*cough* EHarmony *cough*) in terms of employment. You can see whether the candidate is a good match and share the same long term goals as … the stupid fricken AI running the test. Great. They can have some cyber babies and live happily ever after in the black digital hole of resumes. I hope they stay there. (and granted since nothing comes back alive from this hole, they should)

190. Over the course of the day, I can experience many mood changes.
191. Being in a bad mood has no effect on my work.
192. Coworkers would say I do my job in a very steady and even-paced manner.
193. Coworkers would describe me as someone who works at a very fast pace.
194. Better results are achieved by working at a slow and steady pace than working at a fast pace.
195. I can read people’s emotions.

Hrm. Maybe I am mistaken here. If a certain executive at one of my past jobs would have taken this exam, it would have prevented lots of paranoia and psychotic breaks on her part. We would have also had a heads up that she was bat shit crazy and walks around with a crystal ball. (Wow, I am breaking ALL the rules today.)

A co-worker from my past (not bat shit crazy, I liked her) apparently signed up for EHarmony and was rejected for having violent tendancies… Again, right response. It’s like at the doctor’s office when they hammer your knee. You kick em’ in the groin.

If I was hiring people for my exclusive and wonderful tech company running thought-provoking content, I would require the following (And this is from my experience working in different departments and many different people):

1. Can you work all relevant software? (Don’t lie about knowing something and spend most of the day trying to figure out something that should have taken 5 minutes.)
2. How many WPM do you type? (Please don’t lie about being a tech person and charm the secretary into doing all the typing for you…)
3. Can you set up a hypothetical epistemological Gettier problem? (I would just enjoy creative answers, even if you had no idea what the hell I am talking about…)
4. What are the publications you read? (If it is good enough for Palin, it’s good enough for my prospective employees. In fact, I should ask them whether they can name any other Supreme Court cases other than Roe vs. Wade. Of course they get extra points for naming Economist, NY Times, Washington Post, and one gossip rag. heh heh heh.)
5. Can you show up to work bathed and dressed appropriately? (… Because seriously, people… Don’t show up in a belly baring low rise butt crack plummer jeans if you work with minors. Bath if you work in a tight office space. Please. And don’t hold your suits together with safety pins. If you are meeting with corporate high and mighty bigwigs, don’t wear suits with noticeble holes in the sleeve every single day.)
6. Can you work in a secular environment and NOT bring your religious and/or spiritual beliefs into the workplace? (And please don’t start doing numerology during a business meeting. One person from a long ago internship used to tell me that he would do archery, too. However, in his case he would do it with spiritual and visualization exercises BLINDFOLDED. I spent the next week making sure he didn’t have any pointy projectile weapons.)

Sigh. At the moment things here are run by myself and my boss, Cat. The cat is unrelenting and a big bitch of a boss. He is also meticulous with his work and constantly grooming. He is also of the tenured age 7. He could not be reached for comment.