Author Archives: Me

The last two weeks have been the midterm rush. My productivity has dwindled immensely from the beginning of the term. Sadly. Good thing I haven’t been motivated to miss classes… because I really need to “leeway” to be able to miss a class here and there now. (either that or I have taken that chance during my emotional turmoil hair cutting session) I just managed to skip over another pothole while balancing things on both hands… I’m really suprised I didn’t fall on my ass… or at least of anyone pointing at me and telling me what I really am… A big little phoney. Yes. Big Little Phoney.

Oh well.

Here I am listening to the Chrono Trigger soundtrack on my break… on my ipod… about to type up another midterm on my powerbook… my underfed baby and fetus working together in unison…

Yikes. I might be loosing my mind.

That might be a good thing.

What the hell is this Halloween that everyone keeps talking about?

So. I invested in an ipod. It’s beautiful. It is very slim and wonderful (although I was afraid I would think it was bulky and disgusting after looking at the slimmer 20gb ones) despite being 40 gb. I had to make multiple trips to the apple store to confirm that they did a student discount and because I didn’t have a government issued id with me. Still, I bought it, I got it. I am absolutely in love with it.

So far, It has 7gb+ of songs on it. I know, still a light weight. I am still uploading songs. (I am not syncing it to itunes)

However, the first round of trouble that I ran into is that it won’t work with my PC. I used to mac because my PC doesn’t have a port for firewire… and well firewire is just FAST. My mac does and is already equipped with itunes, so I just used it. However, the greater part of my mp3 library is on my PC. (all 20gb+ of it) I thought that syncing with itunes in windows was the problem. However, the PC doesn’t read a mac formatted drive. However, the mac reads a PC formatted drive. WTF.

I’ve left the problem as it is. However, I WOULD like to use it as a hard drive (the reason for getting the 40 instead of 20) to swap files between my PC and Mac. I will eventually need to reformat the drive in PC. I might put it off for a while, though. I wonder what the consequences would be in terms of updates/firmware. Would I have to use PC for all that? That might be a hassle. I can afford to hold off on all this, though. My school uses macs. yay.

Otherwise… I love it. I want to get a new case (vaja) and headphones for it. I named it my “Under Fed Fetus.” Yeah. It is in the naming tradition of calling my powerbook my “Under Fed Baby.” It is a bit vulgar… but quirky. I like it. It is “unique.”

I am such a dork. I am posting from the apple shop in soho… weee. I might purchase a 40 gb ipod.

hopefully this solution works!

and … every time I make an entry, there is an automated comment. WTF?!

Uh… so I had 63 emails in one of my email accounts. It’s the one that gets notifications whenever there is a comment on this site.

Yes, I’ve been spammed.

The thing is, all the email addresses are spam sites, like pocker sites… etc. However, when I check the actual spam messages in the comments, it wasn’t some cheesey advertisement. It was… I think quotes. The spammer is trying very hard to see legit… and even smart.

What is this? Spam for the philosopher?

It’s weird.

I was talking to Jaci last night about the past. I wasn’t a very studious girl. I would play hookey a lot. I would cut classes all the time. There was just something magical about it.

And now, there isn’t anything I can gain from missing my classes. That magic is gone…

I think it had to do with the fact of having another person there with you… and being minimally consequential… being able to get away with it.. and still feel like you’re alive… that you are breaking free. It makes you feel invinsible, self important, and exciting. There is just something freeing about it. It’s sad to think that I can never recreate that moment.

“At least you’ve had that moment…” says Jaci.

There was a time back at school when they heard gun shots from a neighboring school (we were in the bronx, after all) and they locked up all the children. Jaci and I had other plans. We snuck out through the teachers cafeteria with the guys, snuck outside the back way, jumped a fence, I got caught in the fence, ran for the foot ball field, almost got caught in the football field, and finally out ran one of our gym teachers to a neighborhood pizzaria. It was thrilling, exciting, and impulsive. It’s still one of those stories that I look back upon with glee. I’m glad I took the plunge into delinquency. We never got caught and spent the entire afternoon running around with friends around the pizzaria.

There were other moments too.

I mean, I’m probably mixing up a variety of different emotions, such as some wistful notions of a certain type of freedom…

And… it’s not that I can’t “cut class” now… it’s just that it doesn’t contain the same feeling of angsty teenage rebellion and excitement. Also… there are no locks in colleges. There are no penalties for missing class. There are no crazy friends to suggest you sneak around the empty halls to jump a fence outside the teacher’s cafeteria… THAT is missing. No, not the friends… the context… the danger…

It’s harder to feel the excitement now. It takes more effort and is a whole lot more dangerous.

There is this guy in one of my classes who writes in thin vertical line-like letters. It almost looked like bunches of vertical lines through out the page. I wonder if he can really make it out? In another class, there was this guy with the most beautiful, interesting, expressive, flowery (yes, flowery), giant script… I really wanted to take pictures of it. I think it would freak them out, though… if I had asked.

Handwriting interests me. Not that stuff about personalities… just looking at them… speculating on how they developed.